vicky diving in antigua

A Klingon in Antigua

The biggest lesson I learned from jetting off to Antigua for four days is this:

When an opportunity pops up, grab it with both hands and say thank you.

My friend is cabin crew for BA, and he offered me a trip as his guest. Or as a “cling-on” as we’re called — friends and family who sponge off crew for an extremely cheap flight and basically free room.

It was short notice. I had to rearrange a bunch of stuff.

Of COURSE I said yes.

Because I’ve never been to the Caribbean and I’ve always wanted to go. It did not disappoint.

Vicky is a white woman with a huge grin wearing orange goggles and a green snorkel and a bright pink rash vest. She’s on a boat in front of the bluest, most turquoise Caribbean sea

This is me getting ready to swim with and feed stingrays at Stingray City. Which was the most INCREDIBLE experience. 11/10 recommend.

Other things I have learned this past week:

  • How airline upgrades work, and how to get the best chance of a better seat (if you know someone on the flight crew, even better)
  • Stingrays feel like giant mushrooms
  • Giant tortoises are beautiful but kinda sinister (they sneak up on you while you’re feeding one of them and if you don’t keep a weather eye out, they might take a chunk out of your leg)
  • The coral reefs are dying
  • The coral reefs do not have to die, and are still incredible
  • Antiguan driving is very relaxing because everything is a suggestion and nobody ever gets cross
  • There are no tides in the Caribbean, just warm, warm water
  • It’s worth exploring down horror-movie dirt tracks because at the end might be the most perfect deserted beach with the softest sand and the friendliest pelicans
  • Mango smoothies are life
  • Why you have to put your window shades up in the plane on takeoff and landing (so us passengers can alert the crew if something goes horribly wrong)
  • Hanging out with barracuda is pretty chill
  • The cacti in Antigua are very unserious
Extremely phallic and sore-looking cactus

Anyway, I am fully refreshed, lightly tanned, and ready to work with 1 VIP day client and 2 Book Breakthrough: Unlocked clients. Is that you?

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