“open up your legs and stuff it all in”

“open up your legs and stuff it all in”

Occasionally I wake up at 4am in a cold sweat, as I vividly recall that time I silenced a crowded restaurant by making the following suggestion to my friend:

“Well why don’t you just open up your legs and stuff it all in?”

It’s not what you’re thinking.

It really isn’t.

What had happened was, we’d been talking about weird things adults say to kids, like “curiosity killed the cat” and “you must have hollow legs because you eat so much” and my brain got stuck on this idea of hollow legs as a food storage solution.

I came to the conclusion that ultimately it would cause more problems than it solved due to structural integrity, but it took me about 10 minutes and a little mental safair to camel humps and cactus plants to get there.

By the time I was back in the room, my friend was declaring that she was totally full but really wanted dessert, which is when I made my helpful suggestion.

Made perfect sense to me, because I was still in our previous conversation.

Was horrifying and mildly threatening to everyone within earshot.

Anyway, it’s Monday and I wanted to share a writing prompt with you, and that prompt is this:

What keeps you up at night?

Write about it. See where it takes you.

Most important — have fun.

p.s. This kind of social horror show happens often when you’re autistic with ADHD, but nobody tells you that. So I write about it, in case other people are like this and wondering why people back away from them like Homer Simpson.

It also means our brains work differently and it can be really hard for us to do stuff that other people find easy. Like writing consistently or using the manymanymany ideas we have.

So I wrote a whole little book about it called Don’t Eat the Frog.

“This book lives on my desk.” — Will Slater

It’s cool and funny and short and you should definitely buy a copy here. Then review it please!

Buy my book here

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