Progress is never linear.
It never takes us in a straight line from bad to good to excellent.
It’s a wiggle.
I’d like to think the wiggle trends upwards but we have to give it time to do that. Two data points aren’t enough, because that gives us the illusion of a straight line but it’s not, really.
On Friday last week I did my second stand-up comedy set at the Piston Distillery, Worcester, invited and hosted by the lovely Dave James.
It was a bit of an odd one. Well, the evening wasn’t — the evening was great — but my set was a bit odd. It felt odd. Off.
While I was up there onstage, I felt weird and wasn’t enjoying myself as much as I did in July. In fact, I remember thinking, as I was speaking, “I’m not doing this again. It’s not going so well.”
I came off stage and hid and watched the next comedian be absolutely brilliant. He’s a magician as well, and he was hilarious. Polished. Quick.
He’s been doing this for 20 years.
I know, I know — I’ve already had the same thought you just did: don’t be a twat, Vicky, you did your second set EVER, you cannot expect to be as polished as a 20-year comedy veteran.
We need these reminders, though!
On Saturday morning, I woke up and remembered all of this, and I also remembered that three different people came to find me after my set specifically to tell me how much they’d enjoyed it. How seen it made them feel. And one of them works with SEN kids and asked me to write a children’s book about my experiences as an alien in a human skin suit.
There is no measure by which my Friday night comedy set could be considered a failure, and yet — there I was.
I am the queen of setting unrealistic expectations for myself. My first set, in July, was surprisingly good — the other comedians literally didn’t believe me when I said it was my first time. And so, I expected more of myself this time. At least as good, if not better.
But I wasn’t.
Because I changed my material, added some new stuff to try out, had a different stage and a different crowd, and I didn’t rehearse quite so diligently. I also had two friends there to watch and I am absolutely beyond grateful for their support — and with hindsight I realise it was too soon to have people I know there.
Success isn’t linear. Progress isn’t linear.
If I made Friday my last attempt at stand-up, my data points make me look like a loser; like I just got worse and worse.
If I try again, with new material, and different venues, and play with my ideas, and practise, and keep going over and over and over again, I will get better and better. Some individual sets will be worse, but the overall trend will be upwards.
Remember that next time you write you something you’re not so pleased with, or that doesn’t get lots of love on social media, or that someone tells you isn’t your best work.
It’s okay.
It’s normal, actually.
Take a deep breath and try again.
p.s. I’m looking for 2 people to work with me in Book Coach In Your Pocket before Christmas. Are you in?
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