Last week at the gym I took a tiny beetle step to becoming the type of irritating person who makes the most of every moment.
You know the type — they have to fill every spare second with something productive or what’s the point of them.
Standing in line at the post office (does anyone do that anymore???): don’t just stare into space, use that time to read a wanky article from Forbes about the top 5 habits of billionaires that imply it was their 5am ice bath and kale smoothie that catapulted them to power, not their daddy’s trust fund.
Waiting around for your kid while they play excruciating “music” on their too-large saxophone that you spent the GDP of a minor island on? Stop doomscrolling and write another LinkedIn post called “business lessons I learned from listening to my kid play the saxophone — everyone starts somewhere!!!”
Stuck in traffic? Put the latest Tony Robbins audiobook on, get out a notebook, and watch your soul claw its way out of your body in a desperate attempt to distance itself from that suntanned cyborg.
Here’s what happened because I know you’re on the edge of your seat.
I had to be back for a Zoom call at 6pm, so I knew I didn’t have enough time to do my full workout. It was upper body day, so bicep curls were on the menu and I hate bicep curls with the kind of passion I usually reserve for runny egg whites.
It was the perfect excuse: I don’t have time for everything, so there’s no point in even going at all.
It’s that kind of all-or-nothing thinking that’s made me who I am today, kids.
BUT WAIT.
I remembered something.
I want to be able to stride around purposefully, do handstands, and still be able to wipe my own butt when I’m 95 years old. And if I want to be able to do all those things, I needed to hustle my bustle to the gym and do as much of my workout as I could manage in an hour.
So I did.
And Reader, let me tell you — I’m glad I did because I lifted 100kg! Not quite a pb, but getting back to it again.
Would I have done that if I’d flaked out of going because “it’s not worth it”? I would not.
There’s definitely a middle ground between “make every spare second productive bro” and “if I can’t spend hours on this I won’t do it at all” right?
There’s a lot of value in doing absolutely nothing in those spare moments. It’s often where ideas come from but more important, it’s rest, and we don’t have to earn rest.
And we can do a lot in shorter spaces of time if we can’t find longer ones.
Like lift 100kg.
So my Friday suggestions are:
- Put your phone away during those spaces between things and instead notice stuff. Or just stare into space, maaaan.
- Accept that sometimes you won’t have hours stretching away that you can fill with writing… but that doesn’t mean 20 minutes is useless. You can do a lot of meaningful writing in 20 minutes.
And if that doesn’t work for you, maybe the Creative Playground will. Carve out an hour a day for the work that matters to you and write with a small group of cool people who’ll cheer you on.
Join here:
And now for the Friday Goodie Bag! Here’s what I’ve harvested for you…
Bird names that sound like insults
I was a bit of an ornithologist when I was a kid. Used to love birdwatching with my dad. Combine that with my love of words, and you get someone who is childishly delighted by bird names that were quite obviously thought up by someone who was drunk.
Check out this list, which includes the delectable “dickcissel” — a common migratory black-throated finch, apparently.
The nonchalance epidemic
I don’t watch stuff like Love Island but I have noticed (because I have eyes and ears and a brain) a real problem among all the other problems. And possibly a source of much of them. Humanity is increasingly emotionally stunted. Liz Plank wrote an essay about it that you can read here — what thoughts does it spark?
For me, it’s made me more determined than ever to feel all the things I feel, and not hide from them, or hide them from people. I will be childishly delighted with tiny things like two ladybirds shagging and fully devastated by huge things like the deliberate and mass starvation of children by an occupying state.
Physics in Middle Earth
And we’re back to the very serious but silly topic of physics in literature. Specifically, physics in Middle Earth, which speculates on the actual size Legolas’s eyes would need to be if they were able to accomplish the visual feats the books describe.
Check this mash-up of nerdery and, well, nerdery.
(This isn’t a waste of time btw. This is a brilliant way to teach kids important stuff because it’s fun and it’s funny.)
A bone to pick with Jane Austen
Jillian Hess has a bone to pick with Jane Austen’s scathing opinions on keeping a notebook. Austen was a sharp satirist, as you’ll know if you’ve ever read her books… but she toned it down a lot for the published novels. Her notes, the ones that survive, show her as having a wicked sense of humour and she pointed it at, among others, the Price Regent. She was a treasure.
Tips for surviving a rip current
The Onion is one of my favourite sources of satire, news, and general hilarity and this article on how to avoid drowning in the sea is a lovely little distraction moment. Plus the image is elite. Use it as a prompt: what very serious advice can you satirise and make silly?
What I’m reading
I am now on book 7 of The Expanse, it’s called Persepolis Rising and it’s set 30 years ahead of the previous events and I’m not sure how I feel about that tbh. The whole series is fantastic, especially if you love losing yourself in an epic universe. But only if you’re a sci-fi fan, I suppose.
What I’m writing
My 15-minute stand-up set for next weekend’s charity comedy gig. I have the bones of it now, I’m just researching things to do with dead bodies and Dick Bacon.
Word of the week
mafting
This is a regional English word (north-eastern, esp. Yorkshire) meaning uncomfortably or oppressively hot, sweltering; (of a person) oppressed or stifled by the heat.
Seems appropriate for the weather we’ve been having lately. Apparently it’s gonna heat up again next week. Slip slap slop!
Quote of the week
“I wish that I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” -Hafiz
Thank you to my fabulous client (and mentor) Sophie Lee for this beautiful quote. I’m going to write it out and pin it up, and you should too.
And if you’d like to experience my book writing magic, MicroBook Magic Season 7 begins on October 20. You can get on the waiting list here.
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