It’s funny
(and when I say funny, I mean utter fox poo)
how one little comment — not even meant maliciously — can derail my entire brain.
An unsolicited comment, by a man, on my appearance that taps directly into an insecurity I’ve always had, and throws me into a spiral of absolute bullshit.
It’s not even about the comment — or the commenter — it’s about
* gestures wildly * all of this.
The media, the dominant narrative, the news, social attitudes and expectations, all working together to make sure we know who we are, what we should look like, how we should behave, and what we need to do in order to be “accepted”, as if being “accepted” by these people is something we should aspire to.
I am very much aware of my own privilege here, as a straight white cis woman, so I’m speaking to everyone who is just so sick of
* gestures wildly * all of this.
It’s such a waste of fucking time and energy.
I don’t want to care whether or not random people find me attractive… but I do.
(and by gods I am furious that I care)
I don’t want to have to defend my humanity, or the humanity of people I care about…
I don’t want to have to live in a society that hates women and Black people and gay and trans and neurodiverse people AND THEN ARGUE ABOUT IT with people who insist “it’s not about gender or race or whatever”…
Because it’s all a massive distraction.
If I’m worrying about this shit, I’m not doing the work that matters to me.
If we’re scared, we can’t spare the energy to stand up and change things.
If we’re divided by nonsense that shouldn’t divide us, we won’t notice while the government slowly (or not so slowly) strips us of our rights.
And please please don’t hear what I’m not saying —
I am not saying switch off and turn away and turn inwards and ignore the outside world like a mole and give up on trying to change things.
I’m suggesting this: take some time out and breathe.
Take some time to the work that matters to you.
For me, that’s writing.
I want to write so many things, and this past couple of weeks none of it has happened because I have been distracted by
* gestures wildly * all of this.
We can’t change shit if we’re distracted.
We can’t make a difference if we’re facing the wrong direction.
What work is important to you?
What’s getting in the way of you doing it?
Would turning down the volume on the world’s nonsense for a while help?
Do it.
Because we need your work, not your worry.